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English teacher interested in language and culture, and also in fiction using magic, myth, folklore and the supernatural. Now teaching part-time in a Leicester Upper School (ages 14-19) and also writing for children, teens and teachers.

Wednesday, 5 June 2013

No longer lurching from crisis to crisis: a commitment

Warning: this is a really personal post, which may be helpful to some with similar difficulties, but if you want to back away now and come back for bookishness on Friday, no hard feelings :)

OK, here's the thing: I've been pretty busy lately and have put lots of things on hold 'until I've done x' or 'until things calm down'. I've only just realised that I've been doing this now for at least a year (yeah, I know - and probably a year's a rather conservative estimate, if I'm honest). This behaviour is not good for my mental
health - depression and anxiety are generally not helped by lurching along from crisis state to crisis state.

So, here, for your benefit - although I'm sure you're more clued up than I am - are my liberating realisations:

  • I've been consistently busy, although with different and varied projects, for a long time now: I should see busy as normal
  • If busy is going to be my normal state, I need to see this as my actual life, not preparation (sorry for the dramatic, but I bet some of you know what I mean!)
  • Staring at a screen for ten hours is far less productive than doing, say, six or seven hours of screen time spread across the day
  • How could I have been neglecting this?
  • Not only can I therefore 'afford' the time to go on the dog walk with my husband, but I positively benefit from doing so (duh!)

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